Let’s get together soon and have coffee

Hello Big Beautiful World of Wonder!

We’d exchange pleasantries, go through the services I provide in Extra You, White House Home Inventory may (or may not) get mentioned and I’d probably share stories about how we help people and you’d see my face light up. At least that’s what people always tell me. You’d do the same and then you might ask me (and I’d ask you) about marriage and kids, pet and hobbies, where I live, how long I’ve lived in VA or WV… and we’d either be off to a new start of a friendship or I’d never see you again.

I’d brag about my husband, George …saying he’s the best thing that ever happen to me as an adult (or in a mate) he’s a God send and if anything ever happened to me IF your single, bring your best casserole over to my house soon after I’m 6’ under (not before) … because he’s the best catch ever, and that’s not an exaggerated fish tale! I said that to a friend once and I can still hear her voice and see her face saying; “Oh my god! I don’t have a casserole recipe … I better get one!” I often wonder if I should get a deep freezer so George has a place to put all the food that will come in!

My kids, well if you know me you know I’m transparent and if you ask me a question you might be sorry you did UNLESS you really wanted to hear the real, raw deal. If you don’t want the truth on a matter – don’t ask.

Husband’s have really stunk and weren’t “husbands” at all in the Biblical sense and “kids” have been a huge heart break my entire life, and “life” has been hard for them as well with loads of heart-break and rocky paths – most of which they chose because now they are well into adulthood (30 & 32 in 2015) and still picking rocky W I D E paths. Childhood is a MUCH shorter journey than our adult years, but the habits we pick then becomes the character we have later. It’s the FRUIT of our choices and bad choices others made for us … or taught us. Directly or indirectly. However, as I’ve told them…someone may be a part of the problem in your past BUT only YOU can fix your own issues in the present and move forward to the future. YOU are responsible for YOUR life and YOUR choices from here on out. So what will it be?

Best thing I ever did for myself was go through Russell Friedman’s Grief Recovery Method in 2008. I’m convinced MOST people’s issues aren’t about “depression” but unresolved GRIEF — over loss. Grief isn’t just about death, it’s about loss. Any loss dear to us. Pet or people, loss is loss. It’s about your “wishes, hopes and dreams” for a person that will never “match” that dream, that will never be all they could have been and it’s about unexpected trauma showing up on the scene and stealing that person (relationship) away. That would also be a fitting description for me as a mother. It’s emotional death, separation and you pray and pray for resurrection and restoration and then you begin to just pray “your will be done on earth at it is in heaven…” and leave it at the cross.

I’ll never forget when I was 17 being in the hospital having my right tube and ovary out (due to very large tumor on my right tube blocked at both ends with a humongous cyst on my ovary) and my first boyfriend coming to the hospital (and my civics teacher – Claire C.) and me sobbing saying “They said I’d never have children!”

Well, oddly they were kind of right. I never had them for long.

I remember saying to the Doctor; “That’s not true! I’m going to have a boy and a girl, in that order, 2 years apart!” “Faith” amazing.

They were due on the same day – 2 years apart but she ended up being 6 weeks early and he was 7 days late.

Well, I’ll tell you more about “husbands” and “kids” later — didn’t intend on going there on our first cup of coffee, or lunch together BUT …

Since you ask.

Let’s get together soon and have coffee,

Becca Clendening

aka: Rebekah Lea Phelps