Learn to Listen

Latest posts by Rebekah Phelps (see all)

Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn

Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn. That’s one of my life lessons, it’s a saying my mother taught me. You can HEAR something and not learn it. Because either you haven’t walked it out, gotten to that “path” yet or aren’t ready to hear that lesson yet.

I went to school and “heard” about MATH…ugh I hated math, thus I didn’t learn it — beyond the basics!

You can hear wisdom (or a wonderful nugget about life), but until you’ve walked out the meaning, until you have experienced yourself … it it’s only recognizable as “wisdom” or insight.

Learn to Listen is one of the Stones of Remembrance in chapter 4 of my book, I’m an Eagle not a Field Chick. It is available as an  audio book, e-book and pre-order right now.

“Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.”

HARPER LEE | AUTHOR

I was thinking about listening the other day and how it ties into communication.

Once words leave your mouth it seems they go tumbling through the air only to land on ears that heard something completely different or not at all.

HUH, how in the world does that happen short of having a hearing problem? Well, it’s not only people that have hearing issues. It’s people with preconceived ideas of what you’re about to say. Which says they aren’t listening, they are thinking about what they want to say.

We found out my husband has a hearing problem. That explains some frustration or saying; No I didn’t say that I said …

The other day we were walking, it seemed like half of what I said; he repeated, and I’d say; “I just said that!”

Then I found out he didn’t have his hearing aids in.

I was communicating with the cabinet company via an email and I ask; How deep the cabinets were. That’s all I ask. So he responded with the deepest cabinet … the pantry.

Oh no…I wasn’t specific enough.

My fault no doubt.

He’s not a mind reader! Which is what we often expect when we ask a question or want information.

  • Know what I’m really saying
  • Know what I really want
  • Know what I want it for
  • Fill in the blanks.

….and we wonder why we have communication problems.

It’s happen to us all (unless your perfect *cough, cough* I doubt it)

What I should have said was; Marty, could you please give me the deepest part of the cabinet next to the stove. Not the bottom cabinets the top. I’d like to buy corbels for the stove hood I’m having made so I need an idea of the depth of those cabinets.

I tend to be short, to the point and blunt.

Which gets me in trouble at times! Now you know why I’ve been nic-named Frank.

You ( I mean I) can come across; vague, rude or cold and then wonder why you aren’t understood or why someone is ticked off.

It’s about MY communication NOT their understanding.

What came OUT of my mouth wasn’t clear enough.

What comes out of your mouth isn’t elaborate enough for the listener to give you proper information, feedback or resolution.

We may all need to learn to listen, but we also need to learn to be more helpful to the hearers!

See you soon!

Oh, the NEW Edition is also available in Canada and other countries on KoBo, so share with your friends!

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>