Learn to Listen

Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn

Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn. That’s one of my life lessons, it’s a saying my mother taught me. You can HEAR something and not learn it. Because either you haven’t walked it out, gotten to that “path” yet or aren’t ready to hear that lesson yet.

I went to school and “heard” about MATH…ugh I hated math, thus I didn’t learn it — beyond the basics!

You can hear wisdom (or a wonderful nugget about life), but until you’ve walked out the meaning, until you have experienced yourself … it it’s only recognizable as “wisdom” or insight.

Learn to Listen is one of the Stones of Remembrance in chapter 4 of my book, I’m an Eagle not a Field Chick. It is available as an  audio book, e-book and pre-order right now.

“Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.”


I was thinking about listening the other day and how it ties into communication.

Once words leave your mouth it seems they go tumbling through the air only to land on ears that heard something completely different or not at all.

HUH, how in the world does that happen short of having a hearing problem? Well, it’s not only people that have hearing issues. It’s people with preconceived ideas of what you’re about to say. Which says they aren’t listening, they are thinking about what they want to say.

We found out my husband has a hearing problem. That explains some frustration or saying; No I didn’t say that I said …

The other day we were walking, it seemed like half of what I said; he repeated, and I’d say; “I just said that!”

Then I found out he didn’t have his hearing aids in.

I was communicating with the cabinet company via an email and I ask; How deep the cabinets were. That’s all I ask. So he responded with the deepest cabinet … the pantry.

Oh no…I wasn’t specific enough.

My fault no doubt.

He’s not a mind reader! Which is what we often expect when we ask a question or want information.

  • Know what I’m really saying
  • Know what I really want
  • Know what I want it for
  • Fill in the blanks.

….and we wonder why we have communication problems.

It’s happen to us all (unless your perfect *cough, cough* I doubt it)

What I should have said was; Marty, could you please give me the deepest part of the cabinet next to the stove. Not the bottom cabinets the top. I’d like to buy corbels for the stove hood I’m having made so I need an idea of the depth of those cabinets.

I tend to be short, to the point and blunt.

Which gets me in trouble at times! Now you know why I’ve been nic-named Frank.

You ( I mean I) can come across; vague, rude or cold and then wonder why you aren’t understood or why someone is ticked off.

It’s about MY communication NOT their understanding.

What came OUT of my mouth wasn’t clear enough.

What comes out of your mouth isn’t elaborate enough for the listener to give you proper information, feedback or resolution.

We may all need to learn to listen, but we also need to learn to be more helpful to the hearers!

See you soon!

Oh, the NEW Edition is also available in Canada and other countries on KoBo, so share with your friends!

Life under Construction

Building according to area you are in.

I was thinking again about life under construction. We are all there in one way or another. Even if your famous and doing wonderful your building for the next phase. You’re preparing for larger boundaries, deeper “pools.”

Our new home is under construction.
It’s so symbolic and such a great parable to me about how we are all in different phases of the “construction” of our lives.
  • Some people are getting their foundations laid.
  • Some are having “electrical installed” so to speak. They are in the counselor phase of life, getting advice, ditching bad wiring jobs — reprogramming.
  • The windows are in … we can SEE — we have perspective and we’re feeling safe with the frame work up and the roof scheduled to be installed!
  • Ah, then the flooring will go in, cabinets, sheet-rock and PAINT … things are coming alive! HOPE is on the horizon, you can see all you’ve worked for, picked out, hoped for and “paid for” (lit. or fig.)

Doesn’t that resemble the “construction” of your life? Your business, your plans. We all need to reach the point where we SEE things pay off. We all need that feeling of progression. To know things are moving along.

There is a scripture (Proverbs 13:12) that says; Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life. God understands wanting to SEE desires … wishes, hopes and dreams fulfilled!
Boy of boy … I’ve been there more than once.
Okay, get real: more than 50 times. Maybe 100.
Wanting to see progress in what you’re doing and all you’ve been working towards is a natural desire. If not, you didn’t have any dreams or visions in the first place.
So, what do YOU do when you see construction halted?
What if someone you’re working with goes bankrupt (lit. or fig) and doesn’t fulfill his/her end of the bargain?
You must find a way to keep going. Keep building.
You must dive in and learn new things or ways or doing something.
You have to muster up the courage to ask for help!
You may have to find the courage to “be real” and transparent about what’s going on with others. Don’t try and hide! YICKS, that only makes matters worse. This isn’t the time to play pretend like everything is grand when it’s not.
Stay true to self-integrity, follow your conscience, counsel and DON’T STOP building! To many projects have started and stopped only to let all that work sit and rot!
If you’re discouraged, seek out someone that encourages. If needed: professional counselor or coach. Seek out someone to stay accountable to, that you can stay on track with! No matter what phase of                                                  

What stage of building are you in?

construction you are in … no matter how messy it looks, don’t give up! You must build in proper order. You must go through the pains of a few knocks with a hammer, a few costly mistakes to learn the lessons you need! Remember in building it never looks in this stage — the way it will look when it’s completed and ready to move … forward (or in).

Check out this short little video I created on my YouTube channel.  I did it a few months ago (before we decided to buy). Click on subscribe and the thumbs up button. I’d love it if you’d leave a comment! Also, I’m trying out a new platform called LookWide. It’s a mini-podcast. Come over and follow me! 

Why are we going to Church?

Bibles Unavailable in Languages. Each book represents a language

Why are we going to Church?

Someone sent me a note this morning asking me that question. It was more of a statement than a question to me. It said; Rebekah, I often ask myself, why are we going to church, if we ARE the Church?
Well, that opened a soap box for me. My commentary will follow.
Chuck and I chat every now and then.
He’s a man I met once, in a church, in the south.
I’m always shocked that there are cities “in the south” that are still segregated. Oh, signs don’t exist anymore at least not that you can see, but they exist.
On the hearts
In the looks you get as a white person
The sneers and comments
…and segregated churches. Full of whites, or blacks but not both. Church’s should look like a meeting of The United Nations!

Bibles to Be Translated. Orange represents it’s begun. Money needed to finish.

He was the only black person in this church. Which also struck a cord with me. Yet considering the area, I was proud of him for “coming in” and being a part of the church rather than going elsewhere. Tears welled up in my eyes watching him sing with the “old fashion choir” and I felt so proud and connected to him. I approached him after the service and we talked like old friends.

He calls and sends me notes now and then.
Such a sweet man. I enjoy chatting with him. It feels like talking to my older brother and he calls his “little sis” to chat and vent or hear what I have to say, which makes me feel very good I have a brother who actually wants to know what I think. 
Anyway, my response to him was this. I’d like to know your thoughts. IF it lines up with The Word. Don’t send a rant that doesn’t line up with The Word.
“The Church” is to to go into the world without being a part of (or like) the world.
The gathering in the church should be about: encouraging each other, praying for each other, confirmation, discipleship… BUILDING each other up — because you’ve been out amongst heathens, persecuted and discouraged.
How many even know each other? The person’s next to you…their name? Most of us sit in the same place week after week, but do you “know” your neighbor? Do you know if that person lost their job? Lost a spouse, is discouraged and needing a word of encouragement? Which comes from the Holy Spirit if you’re dialed in, not based on what you know.
We should be coming together to grow in faith, practice our gifts (so to speak) and serve. To Love one another. Hum….but no returned calls, failed promises to meet, no acknowledgement of the gifts given, no service to those in need. I know I’ve had serious operations and helped others having them and not had even a home group offer to bring a meal – that isn’t Christ folks.
So many churches are looking to “build attendance” without first building WHO they have first. That’s sad to me, very sad. Why are you concerned about growth but not in helping people grow up that are in your church?
We come together for discipleship, yet there is a growing number of people that don’t even know their Bible or bring one to church! Some people say being “disconnected” from the church is putting yourself in danger (lit. fig./ blessing or cursing) but I say; many are disconnected that are sitting in church EVERY Sunday! Just because their body is present doesn’t mean their heart is! I’m not saying don’t connect but connect first with your heart not your body. Connect FIRST with those who attend not those who don’t. 
Do you realize we have only had our printed bible for 500+ years. Do you know how fortunate we are to even have a printed completed Bible? I went to The Bible Museum recently and the WALLS are full of cultures praying for a Bible. George and I decided what a great gift it would be to buy a Bible in a language once or twice a year. Contact the museum for “how to.”
The word says to know those that labor among them. The word labor means to be weary and tired. Most people don’t even know your name much less know you BY THE spirit or if you’re weary or tired!
Don’t get me started. I said to Chuck. As if I hadn’t already started down a rant trail.
WHAT exactly are we doing every week?
Going through the motions like dead men walking. Sunday should be like a family supper NOT the only meal you’re eating all week! The Word is NOT most people’s daily bread!
Let’s start being the church and not just going to church. What has happened to PASTORS being Pastors? Now the church has “Preachers” When there is no shepherd the sheep will scatter! How sad, and those “Preachers” will be responsible.

This wall (each book), represents a language the Bible IS available in

By the way, the photos are when I went The Bible Museum. the books that are yellow are waiting to be translated into a language. The orange color has begun but isn’t finished. This room and the live explore room of Israel gave me the chills and filled my eyes with tears when I walked in. Before I knew what it was. The wall with the 2 Nuns standing … that is all the Bibles currently translated into languages. THINK of how many tribes and people are waiting for a simple Bible to read…and you won’t read yours or take it to church?

Bublish Me!

I wanted to give you a peek into the workbook on BUBLISH of I’m an Eagle not a Field Chick. Jesus spoke in parables to the multitude … NOT just Christians. The amazing thing about a parable is it captures you where you are at that time in life. You could speak the same “sermon” to a crowd and everyone would gain something new, acquire a revelation, understand based on what they needed to hear. That’s significant of GOD being our “good shepherd” and “feeding everyone.” You might recollect when Jesus fed the multitude with a few fish. That’s what a parable does. It “feds” everyone willing to listen.

Each chapter is broken down in the back of the book to help you come to your own answers, meet you where YOU are in life … right now. This is a great book for book club and groups.

In this creative Christian parable written for women, you will find yourself inspired to discover and accept your gifts and talents in order to embrace ALL that God intends you to be.

I’m an Eagle, Not a Field Chick shows us how to forgive, move past our anger, and realize that our true character and greatest joys are often shaped by the darkest, most difficult times of our lives.

Jesus spoke in parables to his disciples, then explained the parable to them in private the way HE meant it. In the back of the book … I’m “talking to you privately” on what I meant when I wrote the book.

I’m an Eagle, not a Field Chick is very thought provoking and the biggest compliment I’ve had is that each time a reader reads it they get something new out of it. Awe, just like the Bible!

NEW Audio Book has been released

I know it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me. As I’d say in Texas, I reckon it’s been way to long since I jawed at’cha. Quick update where we are, how we are and what in creation is going on. Truth is so much has gone on, so many changes that I wouldn’t know where to start. I can’t keep up with my own life!

The short story is: We’ve downsized, sold our home, bought a 5th wheel.

Max and Erma

No, we had a custom 5th wheel made. *sigh* Our intention was to travel full-time. THEN we came to Florida and STOPPED. Parking on a piece of cement for this many month in one spot for the winter wasn’t what we wanted to do and we would be better off having equity. So we are building and should be in our new home by May. That’s a GREAT lesson on taking one step at a time.

There is a wonderful diverse market here in Florida. I LOVE meeting all the Canadians (great people) and those I’d never get to meet otherwise here for the winter. Florida will be our home state in the winter and we will travel Spring through Fall promoting my books.

OH, my books! I’m coming out with NEW editions and the AUDIO book launched!

New Edition Just Released … Audio Book

The workbook is so much better and the characters names match their personalities. The e-book will be out soon (like in a few weeks). I’m holding back the paperback until February 2019. Funny fact: Reason being is once the calendar changes the book is 1-year old and January isn’t a good time to launch.

You might be wondering … What’s going to happen to Max (the 450) and Erma (the gorgeous, luxury, custom made fifth wheel) well, they got divorced. Max was sold and we are going to sell Erma OR keep the ol’ girl and rent her in Florida. I know…it would have been cheaper to hire an escort for Erma and have her pulled down here like a cave-woman, but who knew! Plans change, and you adjust. Such is life. We will be changing WHAT we travel in. Which will be a Tiffin bus or Super Class C – 32 foot maximum.

Hey, while I’m thinking about it. You might want to sign up for my newsletter (I don’t do many and you’ll always get a recipe from “the farm”….okay, not my farm, my kitchen is “my farm” or my twist on the recipe). I only WISH I had a farm! Moooove on over ya’ll it’s Mrs. Ol’ McDonald here!

Oh this isn’t my cup of tea at all, but here goes. I’m just going to start, sometimes that’s just what we have to do. START. I’m going to start doing a few video’s (here is one of my first). My goal is once a week. I’d love for you to subscribe to my YouTube Channel! I’m going to be chatting about life lessons. This one was my thoughts on: Running Life Like a Marathon.

Would you click on LIKE or DISLIKE and comment?

You also just got a peek at the inside of our RV.

What are your talents and gifts?

Abilities God Gave YOU

What are your talents and gifts?

What are your talents and gifts? I have always been fascinated by people’s talents and gifts. Their ideas and ways of looking (or thinking) about something. What they “see” I don’t from where they are standing (fig. or lit.). If you know me you know I’m NOT serious about much (unless it’s The Word) and I take life pretty much as it comes. Like a baseball floating through the air at different speeds. Just catch it if you can and if you miss, don’t sweat the small stuff…it’ll come back at’cha again another time.

For me as long as it doesn’t violate my conscience, moral or spiritual code of ethics…. I really try and keep it on the “who cares” list. If it’s not going to matter in 5 hours, 5 days, months or 5 years … then why take it so seriously. Whatever “it” is. I think most of us create our own stress, start our own drama or put up with someone else’s which causes chaos in our own lives … *sigh* “choices!”

Only I can stop that.

I’m only responsible for ME and what I keep putting up with. I think we have a tendency to blame others and not look at what WE did to contribute to ___ whatever that BLANK is.

We all have gifts and talents and it’s up to ME to tap into those things and develop them. I think we have a duty to do so and share them with others.

Remember the “workmen in the field and the Vineyard owner” (Mark 12) story? The tree that didn’t bear fruit? (Luke 13:7 or John 15:2) The man who buried the money? (Matt 25:18)

Now that you may have quickly reviewed those or recalled them, ask yourself:

  1. Who are you comparing yourself to? Doesn’t The Word say don’t compare yourself among yourselves, it’s unwise?
  2. Are you stuck in the dirt and not bearing any fruit? Didn’t The Lord say “Go and be fruitful” — that doesn’t just mean populate and have children. Are you being pruned? Have you ever been pruned BY GOD? By Man is a different topic!
  3. Did you “bury your money” (or talents) hoping to save them? Use them for a rainy day? Scared what people might think if you “use them?”

Goes to show you “saving” isn’t always the wisest thing to do. Obviously I don’t think that’s literally (not planning, etc.) but if we look at it at a “different angle” let’s ask ourselves are we “saving” so we don’t have to worry or because we don’t believe God will provide for tomorrow? Are we burying “talents” because we don’t want to show off OR because we have fear of man issues? Scared to fail? Perhaps be rejected if we step out?

Is it about IDENTITY issues? I want to believe _____ So I don’t open the Pandora box. If I don’t hear it .. it doesn’t exist. If I don’t go public, I’m safe. Is “safe” meaning without criticism? Challenges? Don’t you think those things can make you grow? Actually without a lot of “crude” spilled on you…you become weak. You aren’t using your “muscles” so to speak and what happens if you don’t use it? Yep, you lose it.

So back to the question: What are your talents and gifts and HOW are you using them? Do you just think about them or practice? Do you use them within the church to serve or in your work environment? Is it something within the community you can do or share? Is it something that you’d lose if you don’t use? Like a language? Interpreting? I have been surprised to hear that even a person will forget their FIRST language (let’s say Italian) they will forget if they don’t have someone to dialogue with in Italian. I know the same applies to typing, drawing, painting…. everything takes practice and perseverance.

What would you like to learn? Well….why aren’t you?

Is there anything that keeps coming to the “desire of your heart” to do and you haven’t tapped into it? I think that’s one way you can discover WHAT gifts and talents you have….you keep thinking about it. It’s a desire. The Word says GOD will give you the desires of your heart. It’s HIM who put that desire there. It doesn’t mean I think ____ (blank) and ta-da HE gives it to me! Wrong…backwards.

I love love this young man Eugene Landau. I remember when he performed on America’s Got Talent (I’m not much of a TV watcher but I happen to see his first and last performance) and it was actually the FIRST time I called into vote. His history (or story) is very interesting and I love this quote:

“Going through all the stuff that I went through in my life at an early age — my parents splitting up, being homeless, having a son — all those things kept me grounded. I’ve been to the gutter … [Now] my feet are just planted solid in the cement.”

AMAZING how one person can view the trials and tribulations of life as “keeping me grounded” and another blames and uses it as a reason they are “nowhere” in life because of ____.

He has purposed in his heart to “give back” also. He has raised more than a million dollars for children’s and homeless charities via his holiday CD and personal appearances.

We’ve all heard people “never forget where you came from.” Eugene is a living example of that. I read an article that said;

But all of his success hasn’t made Landau forget his roots. He was born in the Mountain State of West Virginia and continues to live there rather than move to entertainment industry hubs like Los Angeles or New York. “West Virginia will always be my home,” says Landau, “and home and family are the most important thing in the world to me. I can always fly out to LA or New York for work, but being here in West Virginia helps keep me humble and grounded. I’m just very fortunate to be living my dream.” In between tour dates and appearances across the country, Landau enjoys spending time at his modest home tucked away in the West Virginia hills. “I’ve got my little home studio, plenty of room for my family and a big beautiful mountain behind me. I’m so thankful to God every day for giving me these blessings, and a bigger stage to perform on.”

And, yes, he still sings while he washes cars. But now, that car belongs to Landau.

I just love his gratefulness and humility. It was a dream come true for the always humble, gracious vocalist, who insisted that he come out after every show to meet his fans for photos and conversation. “Without them, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be anywhere.”

I think he’s a great example of someone that really sang to God first and had more of an ambition to make a difference using what God gave him than just to be famous in the eyes of man. Now THAT is using your gifts and talents! First to HIM….then to THEM.

That’s proper order and when you do they will spill over and even you’ll be surprised!

About Rebekah Lea Phelps

I am a Christian writer, entrepreneur (founder of Extra You, LLC and White House Home Inventory), artist and wife. I have had my fair share of ups and downs, challenges and eating humble pie … as a wife, mother and just “a regular ol’ person in life.” It’s my heart’s desire to see the broken hearted healed, people restored and walking in the purpose God created for them. My husband and I have two gorgeous grandchildren who reside in Texas, we love to travel and are the proud parents of a Maine Coon spoiled cat. We reside in Charles Town, WV.

My books can be found on my author website, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Goodreads, your local book store or Kindle/Nook. You might run into me on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter or Instagram


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Rebekah Lea Phelps

Expert in helping others discover their gifts, talents, and abilities. #ChristianAuthor, #Speaker, Artist & Entrepreneur, #Mentor #PublishedAuthor Psalm of My Heart & a parable called, I'm an Eagle not' a Field Chick.
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Latest posts by Rebekah Lea Phelps (see all)

    Goldie’s Farm Fresh Recipes

    So those of you that know me know I love to cook. Especially for people that love to eat. I never thought of myself as a “foodie” until recently. It was when someone new I met recently pointed it out to me. My idea of a great vacation has nothing to do with an agenda but great food and a beach! I’m good. So I thought it would be perfect to share “Goldie’s Fresh Farm Recipes”

    I don’t love to cook so much that I always want to eat at home but when I eat I want good, if not … GREAT food.

    I’ve always said; if you think hospital food is good than your mother must not have been a great cook. If going to a baseball game and having boiled hotdogs is awesome to you, then again…your wife (or mother) is not a good cook. I had an old friend that loved going to baseball games and eating boiled hotdogs. I would always shake my head and think “Poor thing … I’d love to cook him a GREAT hot-dog.” Once I made him Tuna Fish and he raved about that for years to come.

    I get ask how I made something all the time and thought it’d be fun to share some recipes with you. If you’ll sign up for my NEWSLETTER you’ll get them. Shoot me an email because I must get a sign-up box put on my website.

    As a toast “to us” I’m going to share my Chicken Spaghetti Recipe I’ve been making for years. One thing you need to know about MY recipes they are never the same every single time. For instance, I shared this recipe recently and forgot to add 1 can of Rotel Tomatoes. I seem to add stuff to it or take away as I have available ingredients or improvise.

    Since Goldie is the main character in my book “I’m an Eagle not a Field Chick” I thought I’d call the recipe section of my newsletter, “Goldie’s Farm Fresh Recipes.”

    Any ideas or votes on another name?

    I thought I’d also start bringing samples of these recipes to book signings. What do you think? Recipe Below but remember if you want more, send me your email address! Also, sometimes I post recipes on Instagram under the name: AuthorJer2911

    Soar as high as your wings will take you!


    RebekahLeaPhelps@Gmail.com     703.980.1114

    Rebekah’s Chicken Spaghetti

    1 package of thin spaghetti
    1 roasted chicken, de-boned & chopped up
    1 large onion, chopped to liking
    1-2 cans of mushroom soup
    4-6 stalks of celery
    1 green bell pepper, chopped
    1 small jar of pimento (optional) OR use chopped up ROASTED red bell pepper

    1 can of ROTEL tomatoes
    1 package of Velveeta

    Optional Spices:
    I have used ALL and a FEW…you pick!

    Ground Coriander Seed
    Lots of fresh garlic
    Italian Seasonings

    After I debone my chicken, I boil the bones (to use for my stock water) and boil my spaghetti in that vs. just plain water. You could also add 1 chicken bouillon cube per 1 cup of water. While that is going on I am chopping everything up and sauté it all in a pan THEN I add my chopped-up chicken, Velveeta, mushroom soup and some broth if needed to thin out. Cook until heated and cheese is melted.

    GREAT meal for guest and I find loads of people have never had “Spaghetti Chicken” I made this recipe up in my 20’s and have been eating it since. However, lately I’ve been seeing it pop up on Facebook. Thoughts aren’t original. Sometimes I take the leftovers, put it in a casserole dish and add shredded sharp cheddar to the top (melt).

    Serve with a salad and garlic bread!      It’s YUMMY, Enjoy and tell me what you think!

    RV Rental is a great vacation

    Have you ever thought about renting an RV? Now normal everyday people are renting their personal RV’s! So if you have ever wanted to cruise around in an RV? Well, now you can without buying one! You should definitely try it, before you buy it! RV Rental is a great vacation!

    Author Rents her RV

    Author Rents her RV

    The average RV owner spends over $700 a month to own an RV.

    Rving is so much fun, the people you meet are the best and it couldn’t be more diverse.  From race and religion to age and interest. From the southerner to the yankee….it’s so fun to meet so many cool people … at the beach or in the mountains.

    If you’re like me you always looked at the RV rolling by thinking “that would be sooooooo much fun!”

    Rving is the only neighborhood you’ll ever live in (temporarily) that you’ll befriend the tent dweller (that’s what I call true camping and roughin’ it), the trailer folks, the “pop-up” neighbors, the 5th wheelers (truck needed to pull these), the Class A buses that range from 100K to over a million  and the Class C (that’s what we have – it’s the mini bus version in laymen terms – you can get up and go to the bathroom or make a sandwich during a traffic jam without pulling over). The Class A and Class C is what I call “Glamping” (well, not just me…lots of people). But really, how many neighborhoods have the $60 tent neighbor living beside the Provost bus million-dollar neighbor and everybody is helpful, talking and inviting each other over for a cookout or potluck dinner?!

    The camping crowd is the same crowd as the people who love to cruise (in my opinion). They ALL love to travel and see various places. They all love to meet different people, they all love to EAT and visit (okay, some glampers are quiet, but we’ve never met any that didn’t say HELLO and ya’ll come over if we can do anything for you OR invite us inside to chat AND show us around, including inside the closets.

    The first time we went camping we forgot how to get the awning out and a dear Canadian , sitting in his camper eating breakfast took pity on us and came over and ask if we’d like him to show us “how to.”

    Honestly, we have been around people in the NoVa area we’ve known OF for years, been to dinner with them .. and I can honestly say I know more about the people I have met once (glamping) than I have in the years I’ve known “so and so.” Every time we go camping we meet TRUE new friends and exchange info with at least 1 person if not a half a dozen. We’ve even exchanged travel plans on where we will be and met up again OR visited them in their homes. So fun! You’ll have friends all over the world before you know it!

    Really, you have to try it! We were going to rent one before we bought but found the ones available to rent were outrageous in cost, smelly, you don’t get much with the rental and the ones we’ve seen on campgrounds are awful …. again for a LOT of money! We met the sweetest couple from Holland touring the USA and they rented from Cruise America. I felt so sorry for them. The cabinets were falling off the hinges, it was a MESS, smelt bad and they borrowed dishes from neighbors because it wasn’t stocked very well. I think these rental companies (like AceRV Rentals and Sales ) are taking photos of “new vehicles” so they look nice online but they haven’t been taken care of.

    Well, is going on a vacation in an RV on your bucket list?

    Well, before you kick the bucket….do it.

    And you can RENT our RV via RVShare

    RV Rental Florida, Motorhome Rentals | RVshare.com

    Results 1 – 26 of 331 Why Book Your RV Rental With RVshare? Secure Payments. Every rental booked through RVshare’s secure payment system is backed by …

    I know this has nothing to do with “books” etc. but I thought I’d let you know, if you’ve ever been curious or desired to go on vacation in an RV, you can rent MINE! What vacation are you taking this year?

    About Rebekah Lea Phelps

    I am a Christian writer, entrepreneur (founder of Extra You, LLC and White House Home Inventory), artist and wife. I have had my fair share of ups and downs, challenges and eating humble pie … as a wife, mother and just “a regular ol’ person in life.” It’s my heart’s desire to see the broken hearted healed, people restored and walking in the purpose God created for them. My husband and I have two gorgeous grandchildren who reside in Texas, we love to travel and are the proud parents of a Maine Coon spoiled cat. We reside in Charles Town, WV.

    My books can be found on my author website, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Goodreads, your local book store or Kindle/Nook. You might run into me on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter or Instagram

    Jesus Christ

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    Who is Jesus Christ or who is He not?

    To my anonymous Jewish friend. A few years ago I was boarding a cruise ship and glanced at my Facebook feed before I shut down for about 10 days. I saw someone I’d known a very long time posted “this poem” (below) about who JESUS is, and it made my heart extremely sad. Wow, I thought…. what a perverted, twisted perception of JESUS. This isn’t who Jesus is, I thought!

    And the Lord clearly spoke to my heart, as I hit “off” on my phone, Respond.
    I thought WHAT?#@$ I’m about to board a cruise ship! As if he didn’t know that.
    So I turned my phone back on and said “I’d like to respond to this in depth BUT I’m boarding a cruise ship, could I comment on the article because this is VERY off. VERY “twisted” and she said “Enlighten Me and have a great trip!”
    I prayed about this on my trip.
    I took notes as I looked at the photo and this is the notes compiled in what I sent… My Anonymous Jewish Friend.

    I said;

    Thanks for your patience in waiting for me to get home from vacation (I worked on looking stuff up on vacation but needed to type up my notes) & catch up on stuff! I still have loads on my to-do list but want to pound this out for you in regards to the JESUS thing you posted and said “enlighten you” … LOL, I’m honored to and hopefully you and I have known each other long enough you know it’s not my nature or desire to shove something down someone’s throat, try to “convert” (not my job) or argue points. There is simply no point in that. Going back as far as “Adam and Eve” God gives us all the right to choose and I believe we should be gracious enough to allow others the same. I take MOST things in life pretty lightly and really try to not take up an offense but the one thing I take seriously is my walk with The Lord and although I realize I don’t have to “take up for him” (or defend) I just wanted you to know MOST of what was stated isn’t true. I think “J.C. is a big boy” and doesn’t need me to speak up BUT this is also my very favorite subject;)
    Besides you ask …

    I can’t say “all this” w/o saying a few things you may not know:

    Yeshua IS Jesus. Yeshua means “Salvation” Jews call him Yeshua …Christians refer to him as Jesus. Same person. Jesus referred to the Old testament a lot to prove HE WAS/is the Messiah.and don’t forget the OLD and new testament was written by jews to jews! Most Jews think Gentiles wrote the NT, not so.

    When God said in Genesis 1:26 & in the NT Jo 13:3 “Let US make man in OUR image….” He was referring to Yeshua. HE was with God (just as WE were) before he was sent to earth. Old Testament (OT ) Jer 1:5 and New Testament (NT) Jude 1:6-7 (note: Sodom and Gomorrah happen BEFORE his birth). So also on that note when you speak about GOD or JESUS to a Christian (believer) you are speaking about BOTH. They are one in the same. CHRIST was GOD on earth. Jesus said “If you’ve seen me you’ve seen The Father” It’s like you and your dear hubby having the same voice.

    Even demons know Yeshua (Jesus) is the Son of God (Luke 4:41) There is actually over25 scripture references on The Son of God and others on demon’s recognition of Christ Deity. Matt 8:29

    Abraham “resembled” the Son of God and met with God (Yeshua) before his birth. Gen18:22-24 & Hebrews 7:1

    God (aka: Yeshua) is a man of war and The Word speaks of it in sooooo many places it’s impossible to list all. Exodus 15:3, Numbers, Joshua, Judges, I & II Samuel, I & II Chronicles, Ecc, Isiah, Psalms and Proverbs, Even the Song of Solomon, Jeremiah, Eze, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Micah, Zec, Luke, Romans, II Corinthians, Hebrews, James, I Peter, Revelation.
    The OT Concealed is the NT Revealed. Yeshua didn’t come to abandon the law (or Prophesies) but full-fill them…which he did (over 300)). Grace and Mercy took the place of LAW. “Law” is impossible to fulfill and if we “live by the law, then we will die (or will be judged) by the law. (Galatians 2:9, Romans 7:4-6, Romans10:4, 6:14, James 2:10 and LOTS more) CHRIST became the sacrifice. (Matt 5:17) It would be like you being sentenced to death but Christ walks in the courtroom and takes your place. All we have to do is ACCEPT him as the Messiah. Acknowledge HIM.

    Okay, here we go…I know this is long, I was going to break it up in six parts but deleted all those post and just put it all in one.

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    The JESUS Poem





















    Written by: John Fugelsang

    Radical—Yep ~ Awesome Warrior!

    Non-Violent— This goes with the above (God (aka: Yeshua) is a man of war…). Abraham pleads for mercy for “believers” in Sodom…. he destroyed people that didn’t believe. Think about when Moses went to The King to “let GOD’S people go….” HE killed first-borns, he drowned thousands in the Red Sea, the story of Jericho, Samson was born to destroy the Philistines (Heb. 11:30, Gen 18:22-23, Jude 1:5, Exo14:14 and on and on)
    Hung around lepers, hookers and crooks— Yeshua never rejected anyone (male/female, sinners, Rabi’s, Blind, Lepers, crippled, hookers, adulterers) nor did he “condone sin “OR blame “sin” for everything OR “force” anyone to convert or believe. He went where he was invited and liked to have fun (invited to a wedding – this was the first place he took his disciples and turned water into wine). I think this action speaks to what he still does today —waits to be invited INTO someone‘s life and never forced “truth” on anyone. He often presented TRUTH as a question or statement (whoever is w/o sin cast the first stone – he wasn’t condoning the adultery, he was making a statement of GRACE and Judgment, which changed her heart/life and she became a follower). When he “mingled” or was around the rich, poor, sick, possessed, Rabi’s, women, children, thief on the cross, he healed, always taught, spoke truth and people converted, were healed or opted to reject. He condemned people that wanted to throw stones without ever looking at themselves FIRST and FOREMOST but that is not to say we can’t “judge” a matter…we just can’t condemn. No one ever came looking for a second chance or forgiveness and left with a lecture and rejection. I Corinthians 6:3 and 2:15-16. If the JUDGEMENT thing leads to a question…ask me, I’ll try and explain best I can ~ Another topic.

    Wasn’t American — Yep, and yet he IS all things to ALL people. Jesus speaks/understands ALL languages and was “here” and knew about America before Columbus. On an extra note: Yes, he was Jewish (as is anyone who is a believer in Christ is) Roman’s 2:29 and dark skin, hair & eyes. He “fit in” with the “common man” of his day / time. He didn’t come to be “King” on earth like it was in those days OR how the Jews thought he would (looking for an earthly King) and his “birthday” isn’t in December it is most likely in September sometime because at his birth shepherds were in the field watching sheep AND census weren’t taken in December. Also based on “time” factors mentioned about John the Baptist birth. Just something interesting about him
    Anti-Wealth— Not true. It IS God who gives wealth (Prov. 3:9, 12:27). People often say “Money is the root of all evil” — it’s not that money is wrong; it is the LOVE of money (putting it above God). Ecc 5:8-10. Wealth is a gift from God (Ecc 5:19) Nothing wrong with having money. Hosea 12:8 Mark 10:23. Yeshua said it was difficult because they worship (or love) money more than God. “Diligent makes rich” Prov. 10:4 there is a LOT said about being lazy (or slothful – same thing) they were even called “wicked” (no one rich was ever got called wicked). It really made God mad when people didn’t USE what was given to them (money) properly – it was even taken away and given to someone else who already had a lot … but since they used it properly they were given more (aka: also called Talents). Prov. 21:25and Prov 18:9, Matthew 25:26 and many others….
    On Death Penalty or “retaliation” — See Matthew 5:38-41 – he wasn’t “taking away from” an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” he was adding to it. Also Gen 9:6 Regardless of our conclusions, Christians must make sure that Christ-like values—justice, humility, and grace—motivate us, rather than vengeance or hate; and whether Christians choose to support or oppose capital punishment, we are all called to make sure that it is carried out justly and does not target innocent people. Exodus 21:12,17,24, Lev 24:20, Deut 19:21, I John 3:15, Rev 21:8 Romans 13:3-4, Lev 20:27, I Peter 2:14, Deut 24:16, Num 35:16,
    Public Prayer Issue — There is loads of info on prayer. What he was against is “religious acts” – doing something just to be seen by men, admired, for show vs. heart. Being seen by men was more important to a lot of “religious people” than being HEARD by God/Christ. Matthew 6:5 states for us to “pray without ceasing.” Tons of info on this. The word PRAY is used over 150 times and PRAYER over 160 in the OT and NT. There is nothing wrong with public prayer if the motives (or heart) is pure. There is something wrong with it when done for attention.
    Jesus was Never — Anti-Gay — Oh boy 😉 — Actually a LOT of scripture on this subject also but before I state any. God LOVES the “sinner” but hates the “sin” and NO ONE should be “throwing stones” it is NOT anyone’s place to “condemn” A few scriptures: You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Lev18:22 Or “do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality” I Corn 6:9-11 (and it goes onto list other “things/sins” — Roman1:26-27, Lev 20:13, I Tim 1:8-11, I Corn 6:9, Romans 1:16-32, Judges 19:22, II Timothy 2:26, Matt 19:1-30. And of course God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve — Gen 2:18-25 We wouldn’t be able to be “fruitful and multiply” without embarrassing the opposite sex, designated for us by God.
    Never Mentioned Abortion — Another “oh Boy or Girl” Again, a lot is said about LIFE & the Womb in the Word (both in the Old and New) Lots of people think this is a difficult and controversial issue. In reality, there is no difficulty or controversy at all—providing we allow the Bible to teach us (or that’s what we opt to live by), and not impose the ideas of fallible people on to it is plain. So the arguments are over two issues: Is the unborn fetus a baby/child and is it okay to “kill” the unborn? Does anyone (male or female) have the right to make that call? Does a tree begin as a seed? Is it not a tree? Is not the butterfly a butterfly as a “caterpillar?” just because it’s in development stages? NOTHING grows, develops and evolves to be its full potential DEAD.JESUS is The Word
    “…and Rebekah his [Isaac’s] wife conceived. And the children struggled together within her womb…” (Gen25:21-22) John the Baptist, who “leaped in her (Elizabeth’s) womb” because of the presence of the unborn Christ (Luke 1:41-4) Unborn babies are not disposable clumps of tissue, despite the claims of many pro-abortionists. And they are always human right from fertilization, because all the DNA coding needed to build each individual’s physical features is there in the fertilized egg. Of course the commandment “thou shall not murder” can’t be forgotten. By the way killing and murder are two different issues in the Greek and Hebrew.
    The bible teaches (supported by science) that the unborn is a human baby. (Psalm 139:13-24) Jeremiah 1:5) We were known BY HIM before we existed, while we were IN the womb. We were made in God’s image (Gen 3). We don’t get to “murder” children just because of “the crime” of the fathers (Eze 18:20) – adoption is always an option. HE is a father to the fatherless and WE have been “adopted” by him. Psalm 68:5, Eze 22:7, James 1:27, Prov 6:16-17 These six things the LORD hates: well, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. (Exo 20:13 & Gen 9:5) Plus, look at how killing an unborn child was handled in the OT (Exo 21:22-25). Note they were punished LESS severe IF the child lived. (wow, that’s harsh). Israelite s knew that the fetus was a child (a person). When did Jesus Christ leave Heaven, come to Earth and become flesh Biblical and doctrinally, it was clearly the moment that He was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit. (John 1:14) Biblical, life definitely begins at conception. King David said he was sinful from the time he was conceived (Ps51:5) Therefore, he became a person at the moment of conception, for only a person can have a sin nature. Many scriptures speak of fetuses as children and persons. As soon as she conceives, a woman is “with child.” God sometimes relates intimately with the fetus. (See: Ps 119:73, 139:13-16, Jer 1:5, Job10:8-12, 31:13-15, Gen 25:22, Hosea 12:2-3, Matt 1:18-20 God sometimes even prepares them for a specific calling in the womb (Rom 9:11, Judges 13:3-5, Jer1:5, Gal 1:15 and many others…. Again, I go back to: We were created in HIS image and he KNEW US BEFORE we were in the womb. John the Baptist responded in the womb to the presence of Jesus, who was newly conceived in the womb of Mary (Luke 1:39-44).Ps 22:9-10,Is 1:15-17, 44:2, Is 49:5
    One last thing. Many people argue “rape” as the reason but less than 2% who get abortions is due to rape. I know that you are aware, when a woman is under STRESS or trauma it would be MUCH harder to even get pregnant. I can testify to that…have been raped twice (by a total of 3 people). Perhaps you don’t know how “Planned Parenthood” was founded (or why). Sit down….it was to illuminate the BLACK RACE as well as the poor (crippled, downs, etc.). Yep, how pathetic is that?@#! Largest “holocaust” on earth! Get the book “Grand Illusions, The Legacy of Planned Parenthood”
    A few of my favorites and if this is all the Bible said, it would be enough for me:
    Ecclesiastes 11:5 Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.
    Galatians1:15 But when it was the good pleasure of God, who separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me through his grace,
    Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward.
    Isaiah 13:18 Their bows will dash the young men in pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb. Their eyes will not spare children
    Jeremiah 20:17 because he didn’t kill me from the womb; and so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb always great.
    Ps 139:13-16 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth
    Never Mentioned Birth Control — Yep, didn’t exist, but “choice” of having children always has been. I’d imagine throughout history, people have chosen to NOT have kids (personally I admire people that don’t follow society’s ideas of “children” or thinking “they” make your life or marriage better. I know first-hand this isn’t true.)
    Never called the poor lazy — Actually yes he did. Slothful and Sluggard also means lazy in both the Greek and Hebrew. It’s also put in different ways; “if a man won’t work, he won’t eat” ( II Thes 3:10). He talks about the POOR will always be amongst us (lit & fig). I love this and often ponder it: Proverbs 6:6-11 Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, Also: Luke 19: 12-27 “…. Engage in business until I come”, Prov 21:25, Prov 10:4-5, Christ was for RESTING but not being lazy. Mark 2:27 says; And HE said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
    Never Justified Torture —I’d say that he did, not “justify” but spoke of it when he spoke of (warned) HELL. Eternal damnation (I’d say that would be the worst torture – beyond what any MAN could ever do or imagine because it’s eternal.). Luke 16: 23-24 Also, Matthew 18:34 (turned over to jailers for torture – which was also common in his day). The Bible records “victims” of torture to include Jesus, Paul, Silas, Jeremiah and others (Hebrews 11:35). ALL the disciples died in horrible “torturous ways” IE: Upside down crucifixion, boiling oil, James had his brains bashed out, speared to death, beaten then crucified, etc. We ARE NOT to seek “revenge” Ps 94:1, Romans 12:19. During the Tribulation, torment will be part of the plagues upon “evildoers” (aka: People) Rev 9:5 & 11:10
    Never fought tax cuts — Correct. Jesus also spoke on “paying to Caesar what is Caesar’s” Since this is “already so long” here is a few scriptures: Matthew 22:17:21, Roman’s 13:6-7, Matt 11:19, 21:31-32, Luke3:12-13 and Roman’s 13:1-7
    Never ask a Leper for a “co-pay” — Let’s put this in “modern terms” Did he ever ASK for SOMETHING he did OR instruct someone after he did something? Yes, he did. He said to the Leper “Go Wash, and then go tell….” John 9:7. Mark 10:21 Jesus told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” John 5:8 he told the crippled man “Take up your bed and walk” and at the end of the day. My input: “Follow Me” is the biggest “co-pay” he ask for.
    Jesus Was: Long Haired, Brown skinned-— Yep! Most everyone was then. He was “in style” The closest thing we get to a description is in Isaiah 3:2b “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.” All this tells us is that Jesus’ appearance was just like any other man’s – He was ordinary-looking. Isaiah was here prophesying that the coming suffering Servant would arise in lowly conditions and wear none of the usual emblems of royalty, making His true identity visible only to the discerning eye of faith. Isaiah 53 and Jer 31:31-33 describe him best.
    “Homeless Community” — Assuming they are saying he was homeless — Yes, As they were going along the road, someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man (being Jesus) has nowhere to lay his head” Luke 9:57-58
    Organizing Anti-Slut Community — I understand what they are saying (think this was already covered enough above about sin/adultery.) Christ didn’t come to organize an anti-slut community and to lower him to that would be horrible. He was never for having a “higher than thou” attitude towards anyone OR Gossip / talebearers (who he referred to as wicked, evil and fools.)
    Middle Eastern Jew — YEP!

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    Who is Jesus Christ?

    A Few Postscripts to the poem “Jesus”

    A JEW does NOT have to “convert to Christianity” they (you) just have to accept the Messiah, promised in the Torah & by the Prophets. As stated above Jesus fulfilled over 300 prophecies from the OT.

    One last thing, you may have wondered WHY “Christians” seem to lean towards being “Republican” (aka: Conservative). It’s because we would be “convicted too” — we are to be “doers” of what The Word says and conservative ideas line up more with those values.

    NOT ALL but most and not as much nowadays in years past. Another subject My stance at the end of the day what the Republican Party offers is that it is the lesser of two evils. One of THE BEST “messages” I have ever heard on “voting” (how Christians should vote) was a few years ago. IF you want me to find the link (just because you want to understand what platform “we” are coming from) let me know.

    And one last thing I want to make clear (since you’re Jewish) and horrible, atrocities have been done to the Jews (and others) in the name of “Christianity” (IE: Hitler — who was actually involved in the occult NOT Christian at all) Just because someone CALLS themselves something doesn’t mean they are any more than if you stood in a garage you don’t become a car! People bombing abortion clinics are NOT “Christian” and doing the very thing they stand against. Catholics are NOT “Christian” (also heavily involved with the holocaust in Europe and most don’t define themselves the same as Protestants) and the POPE does NOT “line up with The Word” Just FYI. Just saying because I’ve been asked by many Jewish people about this topic over the years. As a matter a fact, this happen while on vacation with a lady from Israel. She asks me what the difference was between Catholic and Christian. So you may be asking yourself; how do I know they are NOT….another subject, but in short: “By their FRUITS you shall know them” (Matthew 7:16) The measuring stick is The Word/Torah NOT what “man thinks!” and not what it might look like on the outside, but what the “cup” looks like on the inside.

    Love you,
    Rebekah Phelps

    About Rebekah Lea Phelps

    I am a Christian writer, entrepreneur (founder of Extra You, LLC and White House Home Inventory), artist and wife. I have had my fair share of ups and downs, challenges and eating humble pie … as a wife, mother and just “a regular ol’ person in life.” It’s my heart’s desire to see the broken hearted healed, people restored and walking in the purpose God created for them. My husband and I have two gorgeous grandchildren who reside in Texas, we love to travel and are the proud parents of a Maine Coon spoiled cat. We reside in Charles Town, WV.

    My books can be found on my author website, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Goodreads, your local book store or Kindle/Nook. You might run into me on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter or Instagram

    Battered without Bruises. Are you being Verbally Abused?

    Battered without Bruises

    Battered without Bruises

    Battered without Bruises: Are you being Verbally Abused?

    When I was in my 20’s (30+ years ago), I read an article that made a huge impact on my life and I didn’t realize how much impact it would make until years later. It was called Battered without Bruises. It was about verbal abuse and the effects it has on a person’s life, how it takes a toll and how it not only bites you but leaves deadly destructive poison behind. Well, that’s my takeaway in a nutshell.

    I always had a picture in my mind of a woman with Band-Aids on her face. I’m a very visual learner and visuals usually leave a stronger impression than just words…unless it’s words that cut your soul and spirit and you can’t put a picture to that. It’s hard to describe your feelings (because YOU aren’t allowed to have feelings, only the other person is) and before you know it you aren’t even in touch with your own feelings.

    Then if you start to live in survival mode, it goes downhill from there on the feelings side. If you know how to live in survival mode, that’s great if you’re lost in a forest, stranded on an island or floating on a raft in the ocean but for everyday life … well, it stinks. It’s destructive and tiring. It will drain the life out of you and you will totally lose touch with YOUR FEELINGS.

    What Satan can’t prevent, he’ll pervert!

    That’s right, you read that correct. It was one of my “life lessons” years ago. I realized what Satan can’t prevent he’ll pervert. We aren’t supposed to LIVE BY our feelings; we have them but you can’t just LIVE with them on your shoulder so to speak or even weigh decisions just on “feelings.” The thing you don’t want to do is live as thou you’re dealing with a FIRE. An emotional FIRE, a constant crisis, rushing people out of a burning building, protecting kids or other family members, all the while YOU have no idea how you feel. You can’t take the time to rest because after all you’ll be called lazy and God forbid if you cry you’re an emotional basket case or unstable. Sound familiar? Now live like that times 5 years, 10 years, 20, 30 …. and how “emotional” do you think you’ll be? Some people will now call you “cold” — *sigh*

    Look, you have to know WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST

    That one thing has saved my life countless times. It’s pulled me up by my bootstraps and set my feet back on a peaceful path, but it wasn’t easy to get there. It also took standing up to this mess.

    I know LOTS of people have been verbally abused (that includes ridiculed, belittled, made to feel less than, told you were stupid, crazy, etc.) or that has thought or said; I’d rather someone take a bat to me then be verbally abused. The scars run deep and long. I know. I’m sorry. Please let those people be “your lesson” of how not to be treated by others NO MATTER WHAT!

    So you think you’re being verbally abused? First and foremost, I’m so sorry.

    As I noted earlier there is a name for that, it’s called “being battered without bruises.” I even took a photo of my face of what always comes to mind when I think of someone being verbally abused. I reflect back on what I personally went through or when I hear a story that clearly tells me this is going on. Hopefully you’ll see this for what it is; ABUSE and use these points to help identify it and be able to implement what to do about it. A picture says a thousand words, doesn’t it? Well, I hope ripping tiny hairs off my face helps you. (wink – LOL)

    This is the way I always pictured “being battered without bruises” … and you walk around in life looking normal (for the most part), trying to smile through the Band-Aids and depression. Trying to carry on thru the fatigue, trying to THINK and remember stuff and forgetting all along you’re not taking care of yourself. You left yourself in a ditch and you have forgotten how to feel.

    Looking normal to others on the outside...

    Looking normal to others on the outside…

    A counselor told me years ago; Rebekah, the hardest thing about you is at your very worst times in life you still “look great” on the outside.

    Verbal Abuse does such a mind game on you and others!

    Even the strongest, most confident, educated people have found themselves in an abusive relationship.

    In my humble opinion, some common questions you find yourself asking might be:

    1. How could someone have done this to me?
    2. I use to not be this way…
    3. Why do I believe this stuff?
    4. Why am I afraid? WHAT am I afraid of?
    5. How did I get to this place emotionally?
    6. Why do I feel like a child?
    7. Why do I view myself “less than” or inferior to “him?”
    8. Why do I keep doing….
    9. …and you believe most things are your fault. Because “he” told you they were.

    I’m no psychologist just speaking from my own experience, but if you are asking yourself ANY of those questions you need to turn those WHY’s into WHAT.


    It’s so that you see this for what it is…and you move OUT of it and away from this type of person. If you don’t….I promise you’ll just keep going through this “classroom” until you pass.

    1. WHAT are you going to do about it?
    2. WHAT choices do you have?
    3. WHAT plans should you make?
    4. WHAT behaviors do you need to alter?

    I have noticed over the years, people that are on the road of recovery stop asking why, why, why…and start looking at What.

    People that have gone from understanding what it’s like to be a victim and are now victorious start asking God; “HOW can you use this?” WHAT can I do to help someone else?

    You know what I really hate?

    People that misuse and abuse the word VICTIM also. It’s been overused and underused to a degree.

    We’ve all been victims at some point. If you’ve lived and breathed for longer than dropping in the hands of the doctor in the labor room, you’ve been a victim to someone or something or some circumstance. It may not have been rape, torture, being bitten by a shark …but you’ve been attacked somehow, someway. Verbally, Physically or Spiritually. Where there is man, there is sin and where there is sin…there is Satan but thank God…

    There is JESUS and there is another side to this life. Literally and Figuratively.

    Of course this isn’t conclusive but it’s people that are:

    • Sociopath’s
    • Manipulators
    • Bullies
    • Blamer’s
    • Control Freaks
    • Narcissistic
    • Disrespectful
    • Entitled
    • Jekyll and Hyde’s
    • Envious

    Some people think of being verbally abused as just someone who is cutting them down. No, it’s not just that. They are the types of people mentioned above and are famous “table turners” (changing the subject and turning it back to being about YOU), they truly have no conscience or they wouldn’t do what they do. They really could careless how YOU feel. They aren’t going to build you up but tear you down. It will ALWAYS be your fault. These people have major entitlement issues and privileges that you don’t have. Perhaps it’s because they are “the firstborn” or it’s just they have a gender issue. They seem to always be envious people. Do you know envy is much worse than jealousy? People that ENVY want to DESTROY you, what you have or both.

    God said he was a “jealous God” he didn’t say he was envious.

    Envy will lead to slander and lies, people that are envious are intimidated by the one they are abusing also or they wouldn’t want to see them “beneath them” so to speak. Abusers are one way in public and another way in private. Another book I’d like to write is “Behind Closed Doors” – I have a vision for the cover, but anyway, that’s another topic, another time. Maybe.

    I hope if you find yourself in an abusive situation you will GET OUT or set some very strict living guidelines or boundaries. I pray you will NOT remain quiet or you will remain the same. Being passive is deadly when it comes to abuse. It is NOT your fault, but it is up to YOU to change your behavior, which is the only person you can change or should attempt to change! Emotional Abuse “wears many faces” and often times learns to function in a very dysfunctional mess. That is NOT normal or healthy! Think about it…is this what you want to teach your children? How to live dysfunctional?

    Teaching Children...

    Teaching Children…

    Also, if you or anyone you know is in the throes of domestic violence of any form, please go online or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-779-SAFE (7233).

    A few notes: One of my favorite books over the years to refer people to is Verbal Abuse by Grace Ketterman.

    I just got curious about my title “Battered without Bruises” and opted to google it. Interestingly I found this website. Take the time to pray for this young lady. My heart is bleeding for her. Anyone personally know Brad Schimel? He is Wisconsin’s attorney general (#@WisDOJ). Perhaps he could help this young lady?

    I am a Christian writer, entrepreneur (founder of Extra You, LLC and White House Home Inventory), artist and wife. I have had my fair share of ups and downs, challenges and eating humble pie … as a wife, mother and just “a regular ol’ person in life.” It’s my heart’s desire to see the broken hearted healed, people restored and walking in the purpose God created for them. My husband and I have two gorgeous grandchildren who reside in Texas, we love to travel and are the proud parents of a Maine Coon spoiled cat. We reside in Charles Town, WV.

    My books can be found on my author website, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Goodreads, your local book store or Kindle/Nook. You might run into me on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter or Instagram